This is Thirty Something

Hold my beer, I got this.

I miss Golden Spoon

Where did all the frozen yogurts go?!
( and the cowboys too)
There is a special place in my heart for frozen yogurt.
I remember when i was a little kid and I had to go grocery shopping with my mom.
We would go to the old Safeway in  Renton.
(Yep, this is a real pic of the ol’ place!)
 They had a frozen yogurt machine in the store and bins with an assortment of toppings.
This was my good behavior treat…. bribe if you will. 
I have such a specific memory of ridding in the grocery cart with my mom pushing it and getting to fill my little cup with vanilla frozen yogurt and top it with gummy bears.
They always got super hard from the cold and were difficult to actually eat, but they are still a topping favorite. I like a challenge I guess.
Anyway, that yogurt machine was taken out and the store was torn down, to make room for the bigger better Super Safeway that now stands in that lot.
I longed for that soft creamy frozen yogurt from the machine for many years after.
Nothing compared, no soft serve, no sorbet, not even the frozen yogurt machine at Zoopa’s Salad bar quenched the thirst for the delicious yogurt I remembered.
Then I moved to San Diego and discovered Golden Spoon.
The most delightful fro yo shops there is.
There were 3 locations within 15 miles of my house.
 I went at all hours.
Morning, lunch breaks, night time, after the gym.
They had an assortment of flavors, all low calorie and fat free.
Along with tons of toppings.
Best of all, they didn’t break the bank on my 10.00/hr. budget and they had stamp cards too!
 ( I love stamp cards, I feel like I am being rewarded for being a customer)
When I took my first bite, I felt like I was back in a grocery store shopping cart.
Finally I found the yogurt of my dreams!
Then I moved back to Seattle and I am again, searching for the perfect yogurt.
Don’t get me wrong, I am happy about the new fro yo fad and all the little shops popping up around the area. I think its a great treat that should be enjoyed by all!
But, none of them taste like Golden Spoon! 
I have done some research and they offer franchising…. I suppose I could  always open up my own shop!
Thankfully, Arizona happens to be home to some Golden Spoon locations and I happened to go there over Memorial Day weekend. 
Let’s just say, I made up for lost time.

The almost white wedding dress

Popular is the white dress with colored accents & panels.
I am not a fan.
I think it looks tacky.
Sorry.
 This is my blog and I get to say what I want on it.
I am however, a fan of being unique and incorporating colors in unusual ways.
I found a great solution.
The colored button
Such a small touch but I love it!

If that isn’t dramatic enough for you, here are some other little touches:
Colored Corset Ribbons 
Colored Crinoline

Colored Shoes

OR
Go completely nontraditional and do a full colored dress

Lovely.

Serendipity in Vegas

It occurred to me that I went on my fabulous trip to Vegas and never gave you guys any crazy stories after returning.
Besides the drunken debauchery , tiger in our hotel room and waking up in the desert without any pants… it was a hum drum trip.
The one amazing highlight I really want to share is my visit to
I fell in love with this cafe when the romantic comedy “Serendipity” came out back in 2001.
 It stars John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale and they meet and fall in love yadda yadda yadda and they stop for dessert at Serendipity.
I always thought that the only location was in New York.
But, I was wrong. There are 3 and one of them is in VEGAS. I shoulda known.
After all, what isn’t in Vegas?!
Serendipity celebrated its fiftieth anniversary by introducing a record-breaking sundae, listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the most expensive dessert, at $1000.
 It is made with 5 scoops of the Tahitian vanilla bean ice cream, Madagascar vanilla covered in 23K edible gold leaf, drizzled with the world’s most expensive chocolate, Amedei Porcelana, and covered with chunks of Chuao chocolate, which is from cocoa beans harvested by the Caribbean Sea on Venezuela’s coast.
It is suffused with exotic candied fruits from Paris, gold dragets, truffles and Marzipan Cherries and topped with a tiny glass bowl of Grand Passion Caviar, an exclusive dessert caviar, made of salt-free American Golden caviar, known for its sparkling golden color. It’s sweetened and infused with passion fruit, orange, and Armagnac. The sundae is served in a baccarat Harcourt crystal goblet with an 18K gold spoon, a petite mother of pearl spoon, and topped with a gilded sugar flower by Ron Ben-Israel.
(menu pic)
WOW!
I didn’t get that though.
My Bff Amy and I chose the  Deep Fried Oreo Sundae!
HEAVEN in a cup.
Amy and me ready to dig in
Some other menu options
(I want the Treasure Chest next time. A mere $88.00)
Besides the great desserts and frozen drinks they serve.
I was in love with the decor and basically the whole cafe’.
Check it out.
It’s almost like wonderland.

*Icing on the ice cream. Andy Warhol was a fan, and I am a fan of him. Small world.*

Nice teeth and the Men’s room

Friday night my sister’s CCR cover band was playing a show at a local watering hole and some friends and I went to throw back a couple cold ones and have a good time.
I have been to this particular bar many a times and being that it is in Renton, it provides refuge to some of the cities finest.
Apparently it was biker night because upon arriving there was a large number of choppers out front and tons of leather clad folk in the patio area outside. (Yes, we finally had a warm day in Seattle.)
 I headed inside with my friend .
The band had already started playing, so we got a couple beers and relaxed.
Previous to arriving at the bar, I had went to the movies.
We saw Bridesmaids ( It’s hilarious).
I chugged down a water bottle while at the theater, so before getting to comfortable I needed to hit the Loo. Well, perhaps I was just oblivious or too involved in waving hello to the band that I walked myself right into the Men’s room.
 I even looked at the sign on the door ,before entering.
 I can’t tell ya what it said, I don’t know that I really read it, rather than gazed at it.
(Note: The sign did NOT look like this)

Either way, it did not translate to my brain and I charged right in.
Had my friend not ran in after me to pull me out, I probably would have just stayed in there.
I really think there should be a standardized bathroom labeling system enforced.
I mean, sometimes the doors don’t say anything, sometimes it’s just a little picture.
 If you are at a Mexican restaurant it’s in Spanish… if you are at the Outback it’s Blokes and Aussies …

How am I suppose to know which is Men’s and which is Woman’s?!
Out of all the daily things I am suppose to retain, you also want me to know the word Ladies in all languages and slang?!
That’s just asking too much. That is going too far!
Anyway, while waiting in line in the ladies room a stranger spotted me.
I noticed she was staring at me in the mirror.
She turned around and said ” NICE tats!”
 I said “Thank you.”
She of course then wanted to show me ALL of her tattoos.
What is that?!
Why do people always see that I have a tattoo and automatically want to show me all of theirs?
I am not interested in your body art, I have my own thanks.
Needless to say, I was underwhelmed with her tribal scrolls and large goth fairy ink.
As I lied and  politely said ” ooh, those are so nice”
She interrupted me to tell me I had “Really pretty teeth”
( Only in renton my friends…)
As I am washing my hands about to leave, yet another girl, also washing her hands, is staring at me in the mirror.
We make eye contact.
She says ” You are so pretty! Are you part of the biker club out front?”
I said  ” Thank you. No , I am here for the band”
She replies ” Oooohh….. there is band?”
Mind you, this bar is not large, and you have to walk past the stage where the band is playing to get to the Restrooms.
Meth kills. Just remember that.
(Not always true)
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I came back from the Rapture… the party was lame.

Thought this was too funny not to share. I love the tone it’s written in.
Hey guys, Jesus here. Tomorrow’s the big day! Rapture! So psyched!
First of all, not all of you are coming. Eek. Sorry bout that. It’s really just a matter of space. Movies for some reason have depicted heaven as this endless cloud terrain, with room for everyone. Nope. It’s actually about the size of a Best Western, which by the way, you’ll all be staying at on the way. Have to make a pit-stop in Briarcliff to visit a friend from college, who when I mentioned I’d be on earth for a day was like “oh you should swing by while you’re in town.”
Anyway, here are a few things you should know.
1. I Haven’t Finalized the List Yet, So Everybody Should Be Living It Up

Okay, so I kind of dropped the ball on deciding who’s coming. The date just sort of crept up on me. I know, I know, what’s the point of even having a Google Cal if I’m not gonna check it. What I’m getting at is that all bets are off right now. I could easily forget someone that totally deserves to ascend to heaven. So live it up! If you’re a family man who wants to spend his time with his children, you should do that – especially since I CAN’T STAND kids and will only bring a select few. If you love fishing, fish. If you’ve got a couch cushion fetish, which I totally get, go fuck some couch cushions. Who am I to judge? JK.
2. Heaven Doesn’t Have Three-Pronged Outlets
Sorry again, guys, but when I designed the place, I didn’t really account for the types of electronics we’d have now. We can totes stop at Radio Shack along the way. Also while there we can make sure all of their employees know we’re not saving them. Fuck ’em, right? It’s their own fault for not being Christian… and selling the best products 2003 had to offer.
3. It Gets Really F–king Hot Up There, So Be Comfortable Showing Some Skin
Again, chalk this up to a lack of foresight on my behalf when planning heaven. Though honestly, the sun wasn’t as hot back then. If anything it’s your fault and global warming (which is absolutely happening, by the way) has caused that place to be a sauna. I mean, we’re like four miles from the sun. It’s a dry heat, yes, but an oppressive, often deadly, dry heat.

Anyway, what this means is that I’ll probably only bring people that are in decent shape – folks who I can stand to look at while we cruise around the clouds in our tank tops. So I know this excludes 99% of the people who filled the streets and subways over the last few weeks holding signs, warning others about the apocalypse. Sorry about that, guys. In my defense, I did organize that sweet bonding outing at Dave and Busters. The same Dave and Busters where you mouth-breathers stuffed your faces with jalapeno poppers, which ironically is why you won’t be coming to heaven.

4. This is specifically for Kirk Cameron
You have one day to tone it down. ONE. Then maybe I’ll consider bringing you. And if I do, you are prohibited from mentioning the following:
-The time you unplugged Stephen Hawking’s voicebox. Why can’t you understand it was a “had to be there” type of moment?
-That you’ve seen Alan Thicke naked
-That I’m really doing myself a disservice by not watching The Left Behind series. I’ll watch it when I watch it, Kirk.

5. Everybody Who’s Getting Raptured Gets to Bring a Friend
See? There’s some good that can come of this. (Plus, that adorbz picture to the left will be in everyone’s cloud when we check in.) But just know that I have to approve the friend. It has to be someone that I can see myself being friends with independently. I mean, I’m creating a society that will last for eternity, so I’ll want people I will look forward to spending time with. Anyway, here’s what I look for in a friend: Hot girls with speech impediments that have lowered their self-esteem and are thus grateful that I’m showing them attention.
6. Don’t Look God in the Eye When Talking to Him
Seriously. Heaven essentially is God’s power trip and we’ll all be a lot happier if we play by his rules. Them’s the breaks.
Hope this helps! See you after the world ends!


Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me.

Notice that I’m infatuated with weddings lately?!
Yeah, it is that time of year.
The flowers are blooming, its getting warm, caterers are booking out and wedding shoes are on back order.
I love it.
I wish I had more weddings to attend this summer.
 I think I used up my quota last year because this summer is looking a little sparse.
 So, to fill the void I will continue to blog my fantasies and live vicariously thorough all you brides to be.
Enjoy it while it lasts, you will miss it when you are married!
May I present to you, my 3rd favorite wedding theme…
Nautical!

Personally I like to stay away from the traditional red, white and blue.
 It’s a little too Patriotic for me and while it is great for the 4th of July, it doesn’t belong at a wedding.

There are a lot of other great color schemes that work with a nautical wedding though!
Like Navy and Lime

Peach and Navy

Coral and Grey

& Some sweet additions

Ahoy ahoy!
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