This is Thirty Something

Hold my beer, I got this.

Top ten rules every marriage should live by

Hey Girl, Hey!
Stumbled across this great blog entry I want to share with everyone.
It’s about marriage & relationships and how not to screw it up.
Please read it
” Let’s be honest, times are a changing’. Marriage isn’t like it used to be where it was also a matter of survival. I didn’t inherent my wifes farm and our kids don’t plant and hunt to eat. We live in a digital world where the reality of life is that the grass always looks greener and more manicured but the reality is, like all marriages, the lawns that look the best are the ones that are tended to the most!”

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Birchbox numba 1 review

Item 1:
Benefit 
Ultra Plush Lip Gloss in Shimmering Pink Nude

What the site says about it-
This gloss drenches your lips in shine and color that is never sticky.Glides on smooth with soft squeeze tube and custom designed tip.
My 2 cents– 
Glides on super smooth, isn’t sticky & has a good neutral color.
I don’t get why the line is called Sugarbomb though.
It has nothing to do with sugar, it doesn’t taste sweet and the products are all in the pink shade family.
Which to me, doesn’t scream sugar…?
Item 2:
Beauty Protector 
Leave in Conditioner 


What the site says about it-
It conditions, shields from heat & sun as well as detangles. 
Plus, it’s 100% vegan
My 2 cents– 
Why is it exclusive?
It makes my hair silky and smooth without the grease.
10k other reviews on the site give it a 4.5 outta 5.
That’s pretty darn good. 
I hate that I can only order it though, I prefer the instant gratification of the mall.
I am a girl of the 80’s after all.
Item 3:
Harvey Prince
Perfume sample




What the site says about it-
The spritz that greets you with a smile.

The world’s a busy place. Let time stand still for a moment, and with one spritz, taste the sweetness of Meyer lemon in your cold glass of lemonade, smell the pink plumerias budding, and revel in the jubilant tweets of the nearby hummingbird. Before diving back into reality, say “Hello” to your body and soul.

Harvey Prince is thrilled to bring you a splash of spring with our latest, hippest, most energizing fragrance, “Hello.” With a twist of citrus in homage to that fresh squeezed glass on the breakfast table, the subtle yet invigorating notes are layered with Summer Forsythia, an early Spring floral, to bring out the blossoming glow within you. As the scent wears through the day, you’ll be warmly greeted with the enchanting smell of Pink Plumerias, found in the fragrant floral Leis of Hawaii bestowed upon guests, friends, and loved ones.

Embrace your surroundings, reach out, smell, touch! The warm and soft rays of sunshine on your shoulders will keep you company through the day. Take a whiff and just say, “You had me at Hello.


My 2 cents– 
Wow that description was a little ridiculous. 
It smells good if you are the Clinique Happy perfume type.
Which is too floral for me.
( And too HAPPY I guess, remember I have resting bitch face after all. Not to mention it also gives me flashbacks of freshman year in high school)
However the scent did wear all day and I appreciated the sample came with a spray tip and I wasn’t forced to dab it all over my body with my finger.

Item 4:
Ghirardelli
Full size!



This one is pretty self explanatory.
I stuck it in the Hub’s lunch box though because I’m on a diet.
Ha. Okay,the diet part is a lie.
I knew if I ate it, I would eat the whole damn thing at once because I lack self control.
Once you pop, you can’t stop…. or something like that.
Item 5:
Ruby Wings
Color Changing Solar Nail polish
In Ride em’ Cowgirl





What the site says about it:
Can’t decide on the color, wear 2 in 1. It’s one shade indoors and another shade outdoors. Also lightly scented with floral notes.

My 2 cents:
The sun doesn’t shine in Seattle.
I smelled no notes of floral.






Over all I was happy with my first box and am anxiously waiting for the arrival of the next one.
Hopefully it is packed full of stuff I can use!




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Happy Birthday to my favorite Ninja

This weekend was Angela’s Birthday Extravaganza!
We started the festivities with lunch at Chaco Canyon.
An organic Vegetarian Cafe in Seattle.
Which Angela and I thought was in U Village, but as it turns out is really on the Ave. in the U Dist.
This was brought to my attention after making fun of another girl who called to say she had paid for parking and wondered where Angela and I were at. 
We were all like
 “Why did she pay to park?! It’s free here. She doesn’t know what she’s doing!”
Turns out, we were the dummies and were actually at the wrong place entirely.
Karma.
So, we called another friend who was on her way to meet us and asked her to pick us up.
This was after I called her on my phone because Angela’s phone was acting a fool.
Since this particular friend isn’t someone I call on the daily, I wasn’t positive the number I had for her was correct.
So when I called I said:  ” Hello, is this Stacy?”

She said: ” No, you have the wrong number.”

To which I apologized and hung up.
As Angela and I searched my text archive to locate the right number, my phone rang.
It was the person I had just called.
I answered: “Hello?”

Caller: “This is Stacy”


For a split moment I thought, WOW I really just controlled my universe there.
 I can’t believe my mind control powers have gotten so strong!
 I was quickly brought back to reality though.
Me: “Whaaaaat?”

Caller: ” This is Stacy! You called the right number, I was joking with you and then began to tell you some other story and a few minutes later when you didn’t respond, I realized you had hung up and I was talking to myself “

Obviously, my friends and I are meant for each other.
Moving on. 
We made it to Chaco.
Where I had a delicious 
Thai Peanut Bowl
&
  Mango Mint Smoothie 
It was all super good and I didn’t feel bloated and gross like I usually do. 
Check it out if you haven’t yet. 
It’s worth your veggie time.
Then a friend from Montana showed up and surprised Angela!!!
Only after my failed attempt to keep Angela in the Ladies Room with me long enough for the surprise guest to make an entrance.
That story is far to long to get into, but lets just say, if you are trying to trick someone, make sure they don’t have access to your text messages.

Then this happened

Next stop was our hotel to pretty up, have a few (more) drinks and get ready for a night out.
Part of Angela’s present!
This consisted of conversations regarding Demi Moore and her 19 year old playboy photos, dead squirrels, bisexual estheticians, stories about divorced husbands who lead secret lives, douchebag ex fiance’s and cell phones in bags of rice due to being dropped in public toilets ( yes, that actually happened earlier in the day)

On her Rice bag phone. AKA Potty Phone

Off to dinner at Liams

The food was delicious, even though they screwed up my order.
Twice.
The service we alright..ish, even though I was never offered a second cocktail and dessert was good because we all ordered it and it never came. 
Saving us many calories and money in the long run.
The manager apologized for basically sucking at life, but besides offering us free desserts to go ( which we didn’t want, since we were headed to a club) we were given nothing.
So, I tipped….nothing.
Yep, that just happened.
Sorry.
Off to The Ballroom in Fremont.
Where things got weird.

I will not incriminate anyone on here with the permanent damage of the written word.
But I will say, long islands shouldn’t be served to girls over 23 and stripper poles and cages bring out the naughty in everyone. Even the good girls.
The night came to a close like this:
It’s 2 am
 1 of us ended up outside trying to have a conversation with the bouncer about something they apparently felt was very important
1 of us wasn’t allowed back in after a smoke break outside
4 of us were asked to leave because someone closed their eyes and was accused of sleeping
1 of us got the bouncer’s number 
1 of us accidentally stole a blazer ( the jacket ,not the car)
3 of us crammed in a car we aren’t sure we were invited into for a ride home
Flash forward to Sunday AM
Michelle ended up crashing at the hotel the night before but hadn’t planned on it.
To save herself from the walk of shame in her outfit from last night, she stole my yoga pants and t shirt and wore Angela’s shoes home.
Accidentally, I might add.
She didn’t know she was wearing someone else’s shoes!
How do you do that?!
I’m not even mad, I’m impressed.
The rest of us stood in line for breakfast at
Portage Bay Cafe 

If you haven’t been there, go.
If you haven’t seen the menu, look at it.
If you aren’t hungry now, you don’t have a soul.
Oh yeah, there is a toppings bar.
Drool.

You might remember when I came here for 
Mother’s Day 

Also, I have no idea where this bruise came from.
But I do know, I can’t party like I’m 17 anymore.

Then I came home and took a nap.
Thank God for naps.
Happy Birthday weekend Gurl.

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tattoo thursday

It’s that time again! 
The ink is callin’ my name…and with my Birthday just around the corner, I think it would be just the right occasion to expand my live art gallery…aka body…aka flesh canvas?
 You pickin’ up what I’m layin’ down?
Here is some stuff I am loving right now

Get 10% off rotary tattoo machine when you shop at www.AccessTattoo.com. Valid until February 2014.

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Let’s put a ball of glass in a toddlers hand and call it a craft

Pinterest win (kinda)
As a thoughtful ( and money saving) gift for the grandparents this year I decided to do a little craft.
Above is the inspiration. 
I am not totally sure how they were able to get that great result though because getting a 1.5 year old to actually do what you want them to is nearly impossible.
Clark was not happy about getting his entire hand painted.
He cried.
When we tried to get him to press his hand onto the ornament he didn’t want to spread his fingers out.
When I told him to let go, he smeared his hand all over the ball.
So, my final product looked less like a hand print and more like …not a hand print.
In fact Great Grandma didn’t even know what it was until I explained it to her.
(Of course then she LOVED it)
Clark’s hand also took up a lot more room than Gianna’s did.
Which leads me to believe Gianna must have been an infant and her parent’s probably did the hand print while she was sleeping.
Which in retrospect, was probably a really good idea.
That’s the only way we can clip Clark’s dagger claws.
It also wasn’t until after I made this that I went to the original Blogger’s post that I got the inspiration photo from.
She notes “Don’t use a glass ornament” 
Yeah, that was probably a really good idea too.
Mom fail- check!
Anyway, it was still cute…ish.
And no one needed stitches.

I forgot to get a photo, but on the back I wrote Clark and the date.
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If only all my shoes were made of sugar


Thanks again Pinterest for planting creative ideas in people’s heads and setting the bar for me to live up to.

The Birthday Girl requested I make high heel shoe cupcakes for her party.
Here is the end result of my creation.
The Cupcakes:
Almond cake with Vanilla Icing
&
Mimosa
Champagne cake with Orange Icing 

Pretty cute if I don’t say so myself!

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Did my toddler really just google twerking?

Maybe it’s time to start up an Instagram account  for Clark.
All on his own he has figured out how to unlock my phone, access the camera, take a photo ( most of which are selfies) and then go into the album and scroll through to view them.
It seriously blows my mind. 
This is almost as impressive as when he unlocked my phone, went to the internet, searched Bing by typing in jibber jabber which took him to a video of Brazilian girls dancing. (Dirty dancing)
 He then played this video and danced along with them.
When I heard the unfamiliar music I looked at what he was watching and discovered he was enjoying some kinda spring break girls gone wild badonkadonk contest.
Now, that’s talent!

Here’s a small selection of his photography :

Practice makes perfect

Bentley behind the couch

His view from the floor

Cuddling with my bathrobe 

The couch

Close up of the rocking horse

Too cool to look directly at the camera

Christmas stockings

This is probably the best and worst pic so far.
This is me ,but I have no idea what’s going on here.
It’s just creepy and unflattering.

The Christmas tree

pillows

Getting ready for bed selfie
I feel like it’s time for a laptop and the full collection of Encyclopedia Britannica.
 ( You know, the ones they sell on the TV commercial)
Kids these days, they grow up so fast.

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Spoiled

Remember that stomach flu I mentioned that Clark and I had? 
Well, we also gave it to the in-laws.
Merry Christmas!
So they canceled Christmas eve with us and stayed home to vomit. 
Originally we had all planned to get together and do a family dinner and gifts, but instead we went out to eat with my parents and my brother in Law.
( Who ended up crashing on the couch)
This is relevant because  while Santa was filling the stockings later that night, one of his helpers pointed out that poor Uncle Stinky wouldn’t have anything to open on Christmas morning. 
Make shift stocking
So Santa did what he could with no warning and found a wool sock and tied a ribbon around it.
He then stuffed it full of spare toiletries from the hall closet.
Deodorant, Floss, condoms ( Which turned out to be expired.And that really pisses me off because those were expensive.) candy and other random items. 
All was good come Christmas morn when we all opened our stockings and found treasures inside!

               Clark has a new obsession with his Belly Button and unzips his shirts to get to it at all times.

After stockings were opened at our house we loaded up and headed to my parent’s house for breakfast and gifts.

Clark and Grandpa Mac

The castle of Grey Skull!

Clark dumped everything out and just wanted to play with the boxes of course

What could it be?
Rainbow Bright Dolls, Duh!

Clark & daddy

Clark got a wooden train with animals that ride in it

And the most fantastic wagon ever made!

The aftermath
One of Clark’s many adorable shirts!

New hunting gear and trying out the wagon 

And now, more importantly
my loot!

Make up and more make up!

Smashbox & Urban Decay Shadow sets

Benefit Lipstick set

DKNY Delicious

Illume Cactus Verde  Candle , vintage Jesus

Jewelry, Retro Blender Wine Stop

Cat paper clips, cat shirts, cat scarf….

Cat makeup bag, Mascaras, Stila lip gloss & Anastasia Beverly Hills brow set

Smashbox Bronzer, Stila Blush & Phillips Teaze 2 Brush

Paints, Sugar Skull Spoon Rest, Hod Rod patches

Adorable coffee creamer set by Grasslands Road

Fergie Boots

Slippers
New sheets!

Deer shirt!

Sugar Skull wind chime
Drape Front Leather Jacket 
This awesome shirt

aaaaaaaand more boots
Oh and a subscription to Birchbox!!
(I will keep you posted on what I get from them too. I can’t wait!)
I would say this was a successful Christmas!
I am very lucky to have the family & friends that I do.
Since I am the age of an adult ( notice how I didn’t actually call myself an adult) I didn’t really expect to get all these gifts and things. I thought this year would be all about Clark and I would be left in the dust.
Just another mom with Cheerios stuck to her sweat pants and yogurt in her hair, but I was wrong.
And I am really glad I was. 
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